Midlife crisis at 25
Updated: Jul 13, 2020
Who should read:
Someone with the same set of friends for over a decade
Worked so hard from 20 to 25 to take fast track promotions, that didn’t create a life or another skill
Checklist for 20s complete – MBA, Girlfriend, job with fast track
Nowadays, in India, we often run fast in school and college with a perspective to get a fulfilling job or economic sustenance. Childhood stories were around financial and marriage struggles. There is huge family patriotism to pay family back or make parents too proud as compensation for their struggles. Children are growing up with dreams to own cars, a flat, an MBA, and a job. Once this is done by 25-27 years, there is a lack of purpose. The slippery slope is marriage as it seems to be the most natural progression. Weekdays go on working hard for the 15 hour job as that’s sustenance and weekends go over endeavors to marry. My friends who were in elongated search/wait time (2-3 years; from 25-28 years) could not pursue any other skills/purpose.
Such a notion of getting settles, often leads to stagnation. People avoid picking new skills or following any other pursuit. By the time, they reach 30 (married or not), they realize they had stopped reading books, pursuing hobbies on weekends, had not studied a new cultures etc. in the last 3 years. They press a pause button on their growth unconsciously. It can further accentuate if one expects their partner to help them out of their misery. The dependence is also a function of not trying new things. New endeavors give us confidence, while not trying takes away the same. The lesser one tries, the lesser one is able to try. The diagnosis and solution is explained in learnings.
If you feel stagnated, it is imperative to do RCA/Root cause association for stagnation. Follow a 5 why questioning framework. Eg: 1st why - Why did I not invest in growth? coz I invested all weekends in meeting matches. 2nd - Why did I do that? coz everything else in the 25+ checklist was done? 3rd - Why did I have such a checklist? coz of whats mentioned n the blog above etc....
If cause of stagnation is poor will power then it is a result of lower confidence or difficult goal. First try to do activities which are your strengths, once you find yourself charming and powerful, then work on improvement. Break your goal into smaller goals
Try 3N to break stagnation: New People (improves perspectives), New Experiences such as watch a movie alone, take a travel break(increases confidence to try more and increases knowledge), New Accomplishments such as take a new online class, learn a new language, take a pottery class, lose weight(if the last achievement you had was 2 or more yrs back, your confidence would eventually dwindle)