Updated: Jul 13, 2020
Research: Simon Sinek, Brene Browne, M.R. Covey, and my mind;)
Who should read?
Those who thought were the “pretenders” from my previous blog
Those who want to understand how to apply something poetic like “trust” pragmatically
Those who are often in the trap “I am capable, but I don’t know why my manager/mother etc.” don’t trust me
I am going to throw a four questions, which would help you understand the cores of credibility:
1. You are the best tech product manager at lets say “MyPal”. You are scrappy with solutions. You are great with implementation mechanisms. You recently told your boss in a one on one how drunk your previous handler/boss would get at “WhyPals” weekend parties. For a big launch, your boss picks Steve who usually takes your guidance. He does not pick you but the next in line. WHY? For all us self-obsessed Nazis out there, the answer is not our bandwidth.
INTEGRITY (Choosing right over fun, fast, easy, standing for values and commonality in beliefs)
2. You decide to write to Maya, an old acquaintance (as follows) for a reference.
“Hey, how are you doing? It’s been so long. Hope your kids are doing well. If I remember right, your elder daughter has turned four right? By the way, I am sorry I have not been in touch for so long. Let’s catch up on a phone call over this weekend, if its good.” Maya never replied back. WHY?
INTENT - By the third sentence Maya starts speculating your intent to write after so long and builds a self-defense. Be direct about the favor you need. Opening sentences are important in distant relationships.
3. My mother has high integrity (mostly does what she says, doesn’t take shortcuts) and wants best for me. But I won’t give her my money for investment. WHY?
COMPETENCE (she never learnt enough on finance, she does not know all instruments)
4. I weigh 80 kgs. I have all I want to lose at least 15 kgs weight. I diet often. I even go to the gym. I miss these at times due to stress/long hours at work. I have the skill set to lose weight. My husband does not believe me anymore when I say I want to lose weight. WHY?
We can have three of the four but still stay lose with trust. Try to plug and play and you will the same conclusion as mine.
For my ‘pretender’ friends who exploit Integrity (set of common beliefs) tool to attract writers, techies etc. Be sure of what you want. You attract what you show as symbols. Two Risks to this: You lose out on right connections and you are risk to get uncovered.
Don’t blame or back-stab. It’s the “Vault” in Brene Browne’s trust anatomy: “BRAVING!”.
A girl may like a spontaneous and mysterious lover, but people don’t like mysteries at work place. Consistency in results and predictability is appreciated.
Even personally, be vary of announcing things on social media that are hard to comply with. That’s your track record.